


We Definitely Cannot Feel the Love Tonight :/

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emo Virgil, Fluff, M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, Rated T for swearing, Roman x Virgil - Freeform, Soulmate AU, Sympathetic Deceit, They’re all gay, WARNING: THIS WORK MAY CONTAIN BRIEF HETEROSEXUALITY, aroace patton, basically once you turn 19 you can hear whatever music your soulmate is thinking of in your head, coffee shop AU, dont hate me I’m so sorry, flashbacks ya know, gays, i can’t do tags, its all fucking fluff, losleep - Freeform, oh yeah, platonic royality - Freeform, slight abuse mention, so this is just a coffee shop soulmate thing, theater roman, tw abuse, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Virgil Storm has just turned 19. On your nineteenth birthday, everyone gets a soulmate, but with one catch. Whatever song your soulmate is singing, listening to, or thinking of is stuck in your head until you find them. Virgil is getting tired of all the Disney songs, and he keeps getting distracted by the cute barista at Dreamscape Coffee, Roman Prince. Virgil is definitely not in love.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 53
Kudos: 184





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First off: this is my first work in this fandom. Rip it apart. Roast me if you see a typo, but I’d love criticism. I’d also want to know what you guys think of me introducing losleep as another pairing? All the sides WILL be introduced and deceit is NICE. Fight me.  
> Let me know what you guys are thinking for my secondary ship <3 
> 
> can I say a big thank you to tumblr user @jellybeanduck99 for validating me on this one? go follow her please :D  
> I’m @soupgromlin if anyone cares.

The whole soulmate idea wasn’t bad--not bad at all. Actually, Virgil Storm was excited. Tomorrow was, in fact, his nineteenth birthday. Virgil wondered what music his soulmate liked, and hoped it wasn’t anything too terrible-- like Taylor Swift. Yuck. He snuggled into bed and set his alarm for precisely 6:45 am. He was  _ ready.  _

The next morning, Virgil groaned as he slapped his alarm clock to turn off the music. Hold up. The music kept playing. Virgil got out of bed to see what the heck was wrong--and his eyes widened as he realized the alarm  _ was  _ off. 

Apparently, his soulmate also really liked My Chemical Romance. Virgil grinned.

He wasn’t grinning half an hour later when his soulmate couldn’t get the refrain from Love’s An Open Door out of his head. 

_ At least I have  _ good  _ music stuck in my head. Like Teenagers. Or I’m Not Okay. Not this shit.  _

“What’s wrong, Virgil?” asked his older brother, Dee, with some surprise. “You look grouchy.” 

“No shit, Sherlock,” grumbled Virgil. “My stupid soulmate has a thing for Disney songs. Dee started to laugh. “It’s perfect! A happy-go-lucky, way too cheerful soulmate for my little ray of sunshine!” 

Virgil glowered, then slammed the front door and skulked off to Dreamscape Coffee. 

“Chai tea latte,” he said, putting down five dollars. The barista stopped humming and looked at him with some surprise and holy hell was he cute, thought Virgil. 

“You look like a black coffee person,” he remarked.  _ Roman Prince,  _ his name tag read. 

“Well, I’m not. So can I just get my chai?” Virgil retorted. 

“Whoa there, edgelord. Just trying to make conversation.” said the barista-- _ Roman,  _ grinning, and oh my God he was  _ adorable.  _ Virgil was five seconds from a heart attack. Virgil Storm did not have heart attacks!  __ Virgil Storm did not get crushes! And certainly not on way-too-cute baristas! And when he had a  _ soulmate  _ to find? My god, what was he doing?! 

Roman was staring at him curiously. “That’s a loud internal monologue you’ve got there.” Virgil frowned. “Just give me what I ordered, Princey.” And— god he said that out loud. 

“Princey?” asked Roman, smirking. Virgil flushed way, way too pink. “Your name tag—“ he mumbled. Roman finished his thought. “Prince. Of course. Which reminds me, I haven’t been too  _ charming _ , lately.” Virgil stared at him. 

Just then, the bell jingled and they both whipped around as a chipper boy in a blue polo dashed into the coffee shop. “Did I hear someone making a pun without ME?” 

“Patton!” shrieked Roman, hugging him. Virgil tried to hide his disappointment. They were probably dating. Which was fine. Surely someone as cute as Roman wouldn’t be single. Roman turned back to him, and handed him his chai. “Sorry,” he said, beaming. 

Virgil grabbed the cup and left. He wouldn’t need to go back. And oh, my, god,  _ why  _ did he have “Part of Your World” playing on a loop. His soulmate was really fucking annoying. 

Half an hour later, he was throwing it out after class when he noticed the cursive on the cup.  _ Emo Nightmare _ . “Cute,” mumbled Virgil, and then he caught himself and slammed the cup into the trash with such force that the trash can fell over. 

“GURL!” screamed a sunglasses-wearing figure. “Hey, Rémy,” Virgil said wearily. 

“Did I just see you absolutely SLAUGHTERING one of my precious coffees?”

“Rémy, you do not own all coffee shop drinks ever,” scolded Virgil, smiling. 

“Of course I do,” scoffed Remy, “Coffee is my  _ life,  _ my  _ passion,  _ my  _ soul.”  _

_ “ _ Whatever you say, Rémy.” But Virgil was smiling. He even managed to put Roman out of his mind for a bit. 

And his soulmate. 

Until the next day, that is. 

  
  



	2. Revelations, Bish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has a second meeting with Roman, and we learn of Roman’s backstory.  
> SETTING UP FOR ANGST, WOOHOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: mild cursing, mentions of abuse. Skip from “every family reunion” to “Roman noticed a lot.” 
> 
> Sorry this is kinda short :// i PROMISE I’ll introduce Remus next!!!

Skulking into the coffee shop, Virgil shored up his courage. He was gonna  _ apologize!  _ And maybe ask for Roman’s number! He picked nervously at his sleeves and walked up to the counter. 

“Chai tea latte,” he all but whispered.  _ Virgil, you nerd!  _

“CHAI TEA,” he repeated way too loudly. The barista—who was definitely NOT Roman, looked at him. 

“I heard you,” he said coolly, enunciating his syllables. “Chai tea latte. A good choice for a student. Tea increases brain capacity. You’ll study better.”  _ Who is this guy?  _ Virgil snickered to himself. 

As if reading his mind, the boy stuck out his hand. “Logan Callender. I sit behind you in Economics.” 

_ I wouldn’t front the scene if you paid me/ I’m just the way that the doctor made me! _

Virgil shook the music out of his mind—never mind how good it was—and tried to focus. 

Now that he thought about it, he  _ had  _ seen him before. They’d worked on a group project together, right? Yeah.

“Virgil Storm,” he said, almost smiling. He tapped his fingers on the oaken counter once, twice, thrice, before accepting the handshake. Logan nodded at him and then turned around, pouring milk and shaking cinnamon slices into a cup, and in a blur, Virgil was holding forty three cents change and a steamy latte. The music kept playing. Hey. Could be worse. His soulmate was probably hearing DESTROYA on repeat. He checked his phone. Thirty minutes before class. That meant he had...thirteen minutes exactly to hang out. Ha. Thirteen. Lucky, lucky number. Heading to the beanbag area in the corner, he was about to flop down when his foot caught on someone’s leg and his chai went flying. 

_ HALLELUJAH…. _

“Shit!” The chai tumbled through the air—how was it not spilled—before landing neatly  _ in someone’s hand.  _

_ “Roman? _ How the hell did you catch that?!” Virgil blurted out. 

_ LOCK AND LOAD! _

Roman still wasn’t looking at him, and Virgil caught his breath. He had the most perfect hazel eyes and my god his hair was so  _ fluffy-looking  _ and silky—no. Virgil COULD NOT do this. He had a soulmate to find. Then he realized Roman was scowling, looking at the cup. Chai dropped down his hand. 

“Take your damn drink and let me enjoy my break!” he snapped. 

“Oh-okay.” 

At the sound of Virgil’s voice, Roman’s head snapped up, but Virgil was already gone, leaving Roman with a warm chai and a lot of regrets.

With a sigh, Roman settled down to keep listening to his music, and the lyrics faded into his mind. 

_ Give me a reason to believe…. _

He hadn’t heard a thing from his soulmate. He assumed he didn’t have one. At this point, months past his nineteenth birthday, it was too much to hope for.

“Mama? Why don’t you have a soulmate?” Ana Prince smiled down at six year old Roman. 

“I didn’t want one.” Roman knew she was lying, but didn’t push it. Whispers, every family reunion. 

_ Poor little Roman. No father. No siblings. Just Ana. Can she do it? All on her own?  _ Brushing shoulders with Ana, a pat on the head for Roman.

_ It’s better, you know. Gabe wasn’t her soulmate.  _ Disclosure, secrecy.

_ He was!  _ Leaning forward.

_ Fine, fine, he was. But if you ask me, soulmates don’t leave those—those bruises.  _ Muttering, clandestine. 

_ Oh! Roman! Honey!  _ Jumping up.  _ I didn’t see you come in!  _ Nervous fluttering, too much fidgeting.

They never did.

Roman had noticed his mother’s scars. He’d have to be stupid not to. Bruises and scar tissue that would never fully heal, on her neck and her hips and her arms. 

Roman noticed a lot. 

That’s why, every day before his birthday, and every day after, he prayed he’d find his soulmate so he could tell them what he had to. 

_ “Leave me alone. I don’t want a soulmate. I’m sorry _ .”

He’d rehearsed those words every day. His mom didn’t know. She was always so optimistic, trying to hide, to lie, to show that she supported him. But now...now Roman had no one. 

That’s why he didn’t want to find his soulmate. Why he blocked out the music. Why he never let himself look too long at anyone. 

So why on earth did he keep seeing that boy? 

And why did he crop up so much in Roman’s thoughts? 

He definitely wasn’t Roman’s soulmate. 

That would be  _ absurd.  _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mayhap...a comment??????  
> Ily guys :P


	3. Green Tea For Remy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rémy meets someone Very Important   
> Mr. Picani, the Psych teacher >:] and Patton, his TA. Hmmm, wonder why Roman isn’t in this chapter...  
>  Virgil gets annoyed with Remy’s general stupidity. :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yhhhh, there’s gonna be some slight cursing but other than that it’s just a quick fluff chapter because the next one is gonna be a Long Boi

Virgil walked to class, wondering what happened to Roman to make him quite so...aggressive. Rémy tapped him on the shoulder, scaring him for a second. 

  
  


“Hey there, Virge!” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“No. I’ll call you what I want.”

Rémy was in fine form, and Virgil was annoyed. Those stupid Disney songs! 

_ I’m gonna be a mighty king… so enemies beware! _

Mood. Virgil wondered why his soulmate was so obsessed with Disney anyway. It was weird. Snapping back to the present, 

Rémy was, as usual, slurping a drink, and Virgil snatched the cup for a hit of espresso. He took a sip and spat it out. 

“What the hell is this, Rémy?” 

“Green tea,” the sunglasses-wearing boy responded, smiling widely. 

“Since when do you drink fucking green tea?” 

“Since that cutie Logan started working at Dreamscape!” 

Virgil stared at Remy, who at this point was audibly squealing. 

“Remy, you  _ like _ someone?”

“YES!” he screeched, skipping across the grass maniacally. His sunglasses slipped off, but he didn’t seem to care. Shaking his head, Virgil took the steps three at a time, slammed open the door, and threw himself into a seat in Psychology.

“Morning, Virgil,” commented a voice. 

“Oh, hey Logan,” said Virgil, with some surprise. He didn’t know Logan would be in this class, being a year younger, but then again Logan  _ was _ a genius. They were chatting idly when the door swung open again and the teacher walked in. 

“Hey, hey, hey! Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, I’m Mr. Picani, and we’re going to have the  _ funnest  _ time this year!” He was incredibly cheerful. Virgil liked him immediately. 

Rémy slipped in unnoticed, grabbing a seat directly behind Virgil, and Virgil didn’t miss the blush that appeared on Logan’s cheeks at the sight of him. 

A syllabus landed neatly on his desk, and he looked up to see a boy, a bit older, tossing papers left and right. 

_ Patton? _

_ “ _ And over here is my lovely TA, Patton Hart! Can we all give him a little wave, and say “what’s up, Doc? No, I’m kidding, you don’t have to. Hi anyway, Patton!”

Mr. Picani was lively and cheerful, and Virgil found himself being more and more drawn in by this awesome teacher—until he announced, “And our first test of the year will be in THREE DAYS! Better get cracking on that textbook!” 

_ Our mental synchronization _

“Three days?” Virgil moaned after class. “You’ve gotta be kidding me, Rémy. Rémy?” 

_ Can have but one explanation! _

Virgil rolled his eyes. Rémy, by sheer dumb luck, had managed to get Logan’s number, and was eagerly tapping out a message with an enormous grin on his face. That  _ had _ to hurt his cheeks. 

“Remy, you himbo. Try not to look  _ too  _ eager.”

_ You _

_ And I _

_ Were just meant to be….. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment pleSe roast me if any typos


	4. Enter the Dragon Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil gets exposed—badly. We meet Remus, the goodest boi! Sanders Theater is doing Heathers!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I’m a theater nerd. Shut up. 
> 
> Trigger warnings, cursing, transphobia ://
> 
> Song is The Kids From Yesterday AN: IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS GET DA HELL OUT OF HERE  
> ludacris motherfukkers

His soulmate had finally got off their Frozen kick, and Virgil sighed happily as he headed to the theater. If he had to hear Let it Go one more time, he was finally gonna snap. 

Sanders Theater was putting on a production of Heathers, and Virgil was, to say the least, pumped.

_ These theater kids won’t know what hit them. _ He was definitely a shoo-in for a good part. 

It was five pm, and the streets hadn’t yet emptied, so Virgil pulled up his hood and shouldered through the crowd, shuddering whenever he made contact with a passersby. At last, though, he made it to the theater. 

He opened the door and slid inside, breathing out in relief as the bright light from outside faded. The theater smelled like home. Velvety seats in an amphitheater style surrounded an enormous stage with the best lighting set Virgil had ever worked with. He used to be on tech crew until the theater nerds discovered Virgil's amazing singing voice. 

“ _ VIRGIL!”  _ screamed the owner’s son, Thomas. “I worried you wouldn’t make it! The others are here to audition! Head on back!”

Nodding and high-fiving Thomas, he took his bags and jogged through the aisles til he reached the side door. 

Dropping his stuff on a nearby seat, he pushed the door open—and then was tackled by a screaming green blur. 

“VVVVIIIIIRRRRRGGGGIIILLLLLLLL! YOU’RE ALIVE!” 

Virgil groaned. The floor was very hard. Very. 

Ow.

“Oof, sorry ‘bout that.” said his attacker, standing up. 

“Here, lemme help you up.”

“Oh. My. God, Remus. Could you literally calm down?” griped Virgil. He was smiling. 

“You know me!” grinned Remus. “I’ll never chill.” His hair flipped as he shook his head. He was, as usual, wearing all green, weirdly formal clothes. Appropriate for someone with the last name Duke. 

Why did that make Virgil's memory itch? Oh well, he’d figure it all out later. For now, he sighed and relaxed as Remus, chattering happily, grabbed his hand and led him into the crowd of techies and wannabe actors and actresses. 

“YO, GUYS! LOOK WHO I FOUND!” 

Virgil was, all of a sudden, surrounded by a chattering mob asking for tips and tricks from him. 

He found himself smiling big, bigger, until the crowd silenced itself. Someone had spoken. 

“You’re nothing special.” A girl, about his age, was staring at him, smirking. “You think just cause you can sing, you’ll get every part. Even the girl parts.” She looked around, affecting innocence. “What? It’s true. Everyone knows the reason that Virgil hits the high notes is because he’s a fake boy.” She made the motion— _ mic drop _ —and turned to walk away. Remus grabbed her arm. His voice was low and deadly. 

“Not. Cool.” 

_ Cause you only live forever in the lights you make _

She wrenched her arm out of his grip. 

“For God’ sake, bro! Chill! I’m just telling them the truth,” she said, in a weird parody of a Cali-girl voice. 

Virgil stood there numbly. He didn’t know what to feel. He felt raw and exposed. Shell-shocked. 

_ When we were young, we used to say _

  
  


“Transphobic bitch,” Snarling. Balling up his fists.

“What did you say?!” Outrage. Pink nailed hands flew to her mouth. 

_ That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break… _

“What’s going on here?” Door slamming, loud voice.

_ We are...the kids… _

Roman Prince had entered the room.

_ From yesterday…. _

_ “ _ Babe!” The girl flew to his arms. “Victoria? What were you just doing?” Roman asked, deadly quiet.

“Oh my God,” she said, flipping her hair. “Literally nothing, right, Rem?” Remus said nothing. She giggled and tweaked one of Roman’s chestnut curls. 

“We are gonna be the  _ perfect  _ JD and Veronica.” 

Roman smiled at her, and Virgil’s heart cracked. 

“Totally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading !


	5. Auditions!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s audition time for our favorite musical. We’ve got the psycho girlfriend, the hot boy, and the pining emo. Oh yeah, the emo’s possible ex. Sounds like a love triangle, *smirks*
> 
> There’s also singing but you’re all here for the angst, I get it, I get it.  
> None of this belongs to me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All songs are from Heathers! Please don’t hate me

_ Before they punch my clock/ I’m snapping off your window lock/ Got no time to knock! _

_ I’m a dead girl walking…” _

“Are you fucking kidding me, Roman?” said Remus. “You’re just gonna let her do this?” Roman looked pained. “I honestly don’t know what happened. I came in and all of you were glaring at each other. I didn’t hear a thing! So how do I know who’s telling me the truth?” Victoria batted her eyelashes at him, but kept quiet. She was smart. 

“I’ll tell you what fucking happened! Your girlfriend there just insulted Virgil! For no reason! Mom was right. She’s evil.” Remus was boiling mad. 

“Don’t even bring Auntie Lea into this!” Roman snapped back. “She’s not my mom.” 

He was right. Roman and Remus were known as the Royals around school. Ana Prince’s twin sister, Lea, had married a man by the name of Duke, providing endless fodder for nicknames. The cousins had a tenuous relationship, but it had been a peaceful one—till now. 

Virgil gritted his teeth as Remus led him away, to whispering soothingly.  _ dontlistentoherjealousbitchshedoesntknowanythingshessostupidignoreherisweartogod. _

“Rem. It’s fine,” he said, finally looking at Remus. The streak of white in Remus’ hair dipped as he shook his head. “You’re clearly not fine. But whatever, just—kick her ass, okay?” Virgil nodded. That, he could do. 

“ALLLLL RIGHT, Y’ALL!” yelled Thomas’ father, Mr.Sanders. “This production isn’t going to put itself on.” Every cast member trooped up to the stage and sat in a loose mob in the wings as Thomas fiddled with the mic. 

“Auditioners for Heather?” 

“Which one?” screamed a girl. Mr. Sanders chuckled.

“Well, I suppose all of them.” Three near-identical girls stood up and dashed to the mic. They all had identical voices as well—very, very high sopranos. They’d get the parts for sure. The rest of the auditions flew by fast until—JD? 

Roman Prince stood up. Of course. 

“I’ve been through ten high schools...They start to get blurry…..” He was perfect. Virgil sighed dreamily and then mentally slapped himself. Jerk. He had a bitchy girlfriend, was probably straighter than straight, and was the cutest boy alive. It just wasn’t  _ fair.  _ Roman finished his song to wild applause, and Mr.Sanders nodded at him. The part was his. A couple more boys tried out, but they faded into insignificance with Roman. 

Victoria stood up and strutted to the mic before Mr. Sanders could even call out “Veronica.” 

“ _ Dear diary/ I’m going steady...Mostly he’s awesome.. _ ” She’d picked the shortest song. Virgil frowned. That was definitely prideful. She couldn’t really show her range there. 

She finished to wild applause from her minions and pranced off stage, popping a piece of gum in her mouth and flouncing down next to Roman. Virgil gritted his teeth. 

He had one shot. Trying to still his shaking hands, he walked to the center of the stage— _ why _ was the spotlight so bright, and steadied the mic. Or tried to. It fell with a dull thud and hit the stage floor. “Sorry—sorry.” Virgil’s cheeks burned. He picked up the mic, gazing into the audience. There was Remus, directly behind Roman, giving him a thumbs-up. 

_ “The demon queen of high school has decreed it/ She says Monday, eight am I will be deleted.”  _

_ “ _ WOOOOO!” yelled Thomas. Virgil grinned. 

“ _ They'll hunt me down in study hall _

_ Stuff and mount me on the wall _

_ Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?”  _

He’d taken the mic off the stand, was holding it high and singing for all he was worth. The voice inside his head was silent. For once. Thank God. 

He made it all the way through the second verse before Mr. Sanders snapped the music off. 

“We’ve seen enough.” 

Virgil gulped. What did he mean by that?

“Mr. Storm, you’ve got the part.” 

“YES!” Remus screamed. Virgil rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. His eyes sought Roman’s again in the crowd. He wasn’t smiling. Shit. Victoria looked  _ pissed.  _

Uh-oh. 


	6. Study Groups Suck. Don’t Join Them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil joins a study group—I should not be posting I’m at work so no summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs are from Hercules and Princess and the Frog.   
> Yes. I know I’m cliche. You signed up for this when you started reading. Your fault. No triggers that I can think of except cursing.

“So you got the part?” Remy was leaning over the desk, Logan entirely forgotten. Virgil nodded. “Hell yeah,” Remy said. “I knew it!”  _ No chance! No way! I won’t say it, no, no... _

“Heathers, it was?” said Logan. Virgil nodded again. His throat was so dry he could barely speak. The anxiety happens  _ after.  _ Always. Logan and Remy smiled at one another, and then whipped their heads away, blushing furiously. Idiots.  _ You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh-oh... _

Both of them. Of course, Virgil couldn’t talk. He still had to find his soulmate. Besides, Remy and Logan were both close to nineteen, so there was a chance they’d be each other’s soulmates.  _ Give up! Give in… check the grin, you’re in love! _

Virgil still had no clue, and he was getting frustrated. That morning had been shitty. 

Earlier that day:  _ Virgil put five dollars down on the counter. He didn’t meet Roman’s eye. The icy waves emanating off him were enough to remind Virgil that they were not friends and would never be. After all, Virgil kind of had just stolen Roman’s girlfriend’s part and had doomed himself to eight weeks of practice opposite Roman. Shit. Roman handed him his chai without a word.  _ _ “You got what you wanted...but you lost what you had….  _

Virgil wished his soulmate wasn’t  _ quite  _ so on the mark with the song choices. 

_ “Couldn’t even bother to write my name, huh?” Virgil snarked. Oh my God. Why was he talking. Shut up, Virgil, his mind screamed. Roman huffed.  _

_ “You never introduced yourself, for one thing.”  _

_ “Sorry, I was a little busy getting outed by your girlfriend. Nice of you to take her side.” _

_ “I told you, I didn’t see anything! I have no clue what happened.” _

_ Virgil looked at him straight on. “You think I’d lie about something like that?” His mouth tasted like ashes. He turned around and left the coffee shop, leaving his chai. He didn’t look back.  _

Present day:

Psychology class, Friday morning. Patton was handing back test papers with a smile, and Virgil waved at him. He flipped over his test, and his heart sank. No grade. Just  _ See Me. _ This couldn’t be good. Remy and Logan were comparing papers, and Virgil craned his neck to see. Logan had gotten a hundred, and Remy a 79. 

“If you would like, I could tutor you,” offered Logan, and Remy smiled. “Of course!” 

He was drinking green tea again. Virgil rolled his eyes. Remy had failed that test on purpose. 

After class, Virgil sat across from Mr. Picani. His face was tense, hands knotted in his lap. 

“You’re okay,” Mr. Picani said. “I get it. Actually, Virgil, you would’ve gotten an A, but you didn’t finish. All the questions you did are correct, it just seemed to take you a while.” 

Virgil didn’t say anything.

“Aw, I know this class can be hard. Would it be okay, actually, if I added you to my tutoring group? It’s kids from all my classes who are having difficulty on tests. I know you’re a bright group. You just need a little guidance!” 

“Sure,” Virgil mumbled. This was embarrassing. The door swung open, and Patton jogged in. “Virgil! Are you joining? You said yes, right, kiddo? You did! Oh, this is gonna be so fun!” 

Maybe it would be.

But then again, the universe clearly hated Virgil. Why? Sitting across from him on Saturday morning was none other than Victoria. Frick. 

She smiled icily at him and tossed her hair. Patton looked uneasily around the table, sensing the tension. The others in the small group were: Remy, grinning cheekily, Logan, who had come to assist Patton, Remus Duke, who waved at Virgil, a girl named Joan, and a few others.   
_You know what would be cliche? If---_

_ “ _ Sorry I’m late!”

\---  _ Roman came in...right..now...Ugh. _

Roman’s smile dropped the second he saw Virgil. Virgil glared right back at him. Asshole. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry you had to read this I love all of u guys


	7. In Which Murder Becomes a Less Definite Possibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Roman attend study group, Logan and Remy are gay boies, and Virgil and Roman do the cliche fanfiction thing. I'm going to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild cursing! and the songs for this chapter are Thank You For the Venom, by MCR, and Come a Little Bit Closer by Jay and the Americans. Should I start listing all the songs I use from now on??

“Take a seat, Mr. Prince!” chirped Patton. “Let’s get started !  First question: When in a new situation, Cecilia makes a judgment by processing new information and comparing it to her past experiences. What type of judgment did she mostly likely make?”

Roman and Virgil raised their hands at the same time, noticed, and then glared daggers at each other. Patton sighed. This was going to be a long class. 

Afterwards, Virgil was moody and irritated as he shoved his books into his bag , ripping papers with the force of his annoyance. Remy and Logan were whispering, heads bent closely together, and Virgil nearly smiled. At least  _ someone  _ was happy. 

“I’ve got to  _ go,  _ babe,” heard Virgil, as if underwater. Victoria gave Roman a quick hug and then left. Oddly, Roman didn’t seem sad. He seemed...relieved. What was up with  _ him? _

_ Come a little bit closer…. _

Isn’t that the Guardians of the Galaxy song?

“Virgil!” Patton sounded annoyed. “I’ve said your name four times!”

“Sorry.” Virgil tried for a smile. “What were you saying?”

“I asked if you would like to come over and watch a movie with me.”

“Patton, I’m flattered, but..”

“Not as a  _ date,  _ silly! You seemed stressed. Would your friends like to come too?” 

Oh. 

_ I’m all alone...and the night is so long. _

“Sure.” 

Patton’s house was only a short walk from campus, and the group talked cheerfully as they walked. Remy, Logan and Virgil had elected to come, and much to Virgil’s dismay, Roman had as well, shooting Virgil a grin. _So give me all your poison/ And give me all your pills_

“So then I said ‘Not likely, bitch,” Up ahead, the small group was laughing uproariously, and Remy was basking in the praise. Roman looked back at Virgil, straggling behind, and then fell back to join him. 

“What’s the matter, Panic! at the Everywhere? You sad I came along? I bet you think I only did this to annoy you.”

_ And give me all your hopeless hearts _

_ And make me ill _

  
  


“I just don’t think about you, in fact.” Virgil flipped up his hood and walked faster. Roman easily matched his pace, not bothering with a response. 

  
  


Virgil hummed along to the first good song his soulmate had come up with in weeks. Roman’s eyebrows raised. “My Chemical Romance again?” 

How the fuck did he hear that? Whatever. “Yeah.”

“Oh, so his Royal Highness has deigned to speak to me! I’m flattered.” Virgil didn’t miss the teasing note in Roman’s voice. He was so much lighter almost, better, without the toxic presence of his girlfriend. 

“She’s not toxic!” Roman looked shocked. So Virgil had said that out loud. Oookay. “She’s just,..overwhelming.”

“Why do you stay with her then?” Virgil blurted. “It’s clear you’re better off.” 

The crowd up ahead had vanished, a block ahead, and Virgil was aware that he had stopped walking. He was an inch away from Roman, close enough to reach out and… 

Never mind. His cheeks flushed, but he didn’t move away. 

_ You're running after something / That you'll never kill _

  
  


“Answer the question, Princey. Why?” 

Roman leaned infinitesimally closer. His lips brushed Virgil’s ear.

_ If this is what you want / Then fire at will. _

  
  
  


“Would I be lying if I said I didn’t know?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am just a ComenT Wh0re. Thatse it. i CanOt change This.


	8. Pride and Prejudice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of Stupid Gay Vibes, must be in want of a soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre so fucking stupid im crying  
> Yes i KNOw i chose to write them like this  
> fight me
> 
> Oh and i had to change my username to throw my family off the trail (hi Lola!)

At Patton’s door, they congregated patiently while Patton fumbled for the lock. Heading in, Roman immediately threw himself on the couch while the rest stood awkwardly around. 

“Sit  _ down,  _ guys!” Patton said. “I’m getting cookies, okay?” It was definitely not a question. 

  


Virgil and Remy were the first to sit, and Remy tugged Logan down after him. Logan blushed, perching on the arm of the chair next to Remy. Roman wondered if there was something there. 

  


“‘Kay, everyone,” Patton had returned, bearing plates of gingersnaps. “We’re watching a movie.” 

“Pat,” Roman whined, “I’ve got  _ homework, _ ” 

“Sure you do,” Patton said, sliding his phone out very obviously. Roman looked down a second later as his phone pinged with a text. 

  


**Patton : You just don’t want to be near Virgil! what have you got against him, anyways??? he’s nice**

  


**Roman: Emo Nightmare? Nice? Lmao**

  


Speak of the devil… Virgil cleared his throat. “Any particular reason why we’re all here, Patton?” Roman gave Patton a death stare. Exactly the question he was about to ask. Patton smiled. “Well, I thought y’all could use a little time to destress! We could listen to music, or watch a mov--- 

“My Chemical Romance!”

“Disney!”

  


“How cliche, Princey,” snarked Virgil.    
“You’re one to talk, Panic! At the Everywhere. Can we listen to music that won’t, I don’t know, depress the hell out of everyone here?” Okay, MCR was good music, but Roman for sure could not back down. 

“Excuse me if I don’t want to be listening to happy-go-lucky animals and princesses harmonizing when I’m trying to relax!”

“Girls, girls, you’re both pretty,” Remy commented wearily. “Can I go home now?” Logan laughed, and Remy looked vastly pleased.

“Guys, guys, I like both types of music!” Patton interrupted. Virgil froze. Why’d he go so pale? Roman was now significantly more confused than he had been before. 

  


“Well, can we perhaps view a film?” Logan asked. Roman nodded. “How about--”

“Nightmare before Christmas?” Roman smiled at Virgil in shock. 

“That’s just what I was thinking!” 

  


Sliding one by one onto Patton’s weirdly soft couch, Remy for once not on his phone, Roman felt his whole body untense as the music started. 

**_“Boys and girls of every age / wouldn’t you like to see something strange…”_ **

“Ah!” Roman grabbed his skull. It felt like it was on fire. The music was coming not from the speakers, but echoing instead from deep within his mind. 

“Ro?” Patton was staring at him concernedly, music still playing. Roman gritted his teeth in a smile. Patton’s eyes cleared and he turned back to the movie. 

“Princey,” hissed Virgil. “You’re clearly not okay.” Roman grabbed his phone, and Virgil let him, too shocked to fight back. Quickly, Roman typed in the digits of his number.

  


**xxx-xxx-xxxx: thanks for noticing, my chemical imbalance. not. im fine.**

  


**Virgil: um, ok. you have a headache, huh? So do i lmao**

  


**Virgil has changed the contact name to: Princey**

  


**Princey: no fucking duh. anyway can u not make it a thing i dont want patton to worry.**

  


**Roman has changed the contact name to: Emo Nightmare**

  


**Emo Nightmare : did you need to give me your number for THAT? You couldve been smoother**

  


**Princey: oh shut up**

  


The movie was still playing, but the ache had dulled, and as soon as Roman and Virgil turned back to the movie, they both winced. 

  


Wait. If the movie was playing, that must be.. Roman was hearing what his soulmate was listening to! And unless it was the biggest coincidence ever, his soulmate was in this room. 

  


Next to him, Virgil was following a similar train of thought. His soulmate was definitely here, someone watching this movie, someone who’d been near him for a while…

  


An idea struck Roman. Mentally vibe-checked him, if you will. 

  


Same with Virgil. 

  


Someone who they hadn’t considered in this equation, someone they’d never put thought to, the most unlikely candidate---

  


Patton.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love my gay boys theyre such idiots


	9. Emotions, right? Who needs those?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rollercoaster of emotions...like, damn... it's short but....damn...  
> Oh Ana by Mother Mother is song,... no energy to find out another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> transphobia warning after ~~~ pls do not read if you are triggered! skip to end for summary

“I love my dead gay son!” 

“No, no,” Remus moaned. “Say it with passion! Panache! Remember, your son is dead, and you are about to confess your homosexuality. Pretend, just once, that you are not fantastically gay and are a closeted gay Republican.”

The kid nodded, furiously taking notes. Remus groaned. 

“Virgil, Roman, get up here. I can’t take this.”

They hopped up on the stage, avoiding eye contact. Remus hit Roman, screaming. “You’re romantic leads! Please! Try!”

_ I’ll play god, I’ll play god, I’ll play god today…. _

Remus, the stage director and lead tech guy, was having an anxiety attack. None of the actors were doing their parts, Virgil and Roman were being weird, and Remus was in charge of this crew of gay disasters. What was he to do?

_ Ante up and play that god a poker game.. _

“Guys, take it from the 7-11 scene, ‘kay?”

Virgil could do that.

“You going to pull a Big Gulp with that?” Roman gestured, looking questioningly at Virgil. He didn’t even need his script, damn him.

“No, but if you're nice,” Virgil threw back, “I'll let you buy me a Slurpee. You know your 7-11 speak pretty well.”

“I've been moved around all my life. Dallas, Baton Rouge, Vegas, Sherwood Ohio, there's always a 7-11. Any town, any time, I can pop a Ham and Cheese in the microwave and feast on

a Big Wheel. Keeps me  _ sane _ .” Roman was smiling. He had the lines down pat, but something was missing. His eyes were far away, dull and dark. His gaze wasn’t intense enough, and Virgil hissed out in annoyance, forcing Roman to attention.

“Really? That thing in the caf today was pretty severe.

**“** The extreme always makes an impression, but you're right, it was severe. Did you say a Cherry or Coke Slurpee?” Roman asked.

“I didn't. Cherry.” Virgil smirked, perfectly in character.

_ Playing this godly can’t be good for Ana’s safety...Ana hear me... _

“Annnd, cut! Great job, you guys.  _ WHITING, GREEN, GET THE HELL OVER HERE, WE”RE TRYING AGAIN.”  _

Virgil and Roman jumped down the stage steps, narrowly missing the lights, and Virgil wobbled, grabbing hold of Roman’s hand. He let go just as quickly, but the damage had been done. They flushed identically and sat down next to each other. 

_ Ana baby….I’m not crazy…. _

Roman knocked his knee into Virgil’s. “So…”

“So.” he replied flatly.

“I thought about what you said,” Roman said in a rush, his words tumbling over each other to escape. “You’re..you’re right. I’m not happy.”

Virgil looked him full in the face. “Why are you telling me?”

Roman blushed again. “Seemed like a good idea. I don’t  _ know.  _ God.”

Virgil smiled. “I’m glad.”

Now they were both blushing, and Virgil couldn’t look away from Roman’s magnetic eyes.

“I SAID, SAY IT WITH PASSION!!!!!” came the scream from upstage, and they both looked at each other, rolling their eyes, before bursting into laughter. 

  
  
  
  


~~~~~~~

  
  


“You’re breaking  _ up _ with me?” Victoria jutted out her hip, incredulous. “Tell me you’re kidding.” 

_ Oh, Ana, I’ll be with you still _

Roman shook his head. “It’s time for us to go our separate ways, V. Get real, you didn’t think we’d get  _ married _ or something?”

Victoria laughed, a brittle, breaking noise. “This is because of that...it. Virgil, or whatever it’s calling themself.”

“So it’s true. You did--you called Virgil n--You  _ bitch.”  _ Roman’s face was on fire. “I believed you! And for what?! We’re done here. Delete my number--don’t talk to me again.”

He stalked away, leaving Victoria with her makeup a mess and her quivering chin held high.

_ You are the angel that I couldn’t kill…. _

He had to find Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you skipped end, it's just the breakup, ok? roman finds out that Veronica is a HoeTM and yells at her, etc, etc.


	10. Cookies and Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things happen, it's a happy ending, i'm so cringe.   
> welcome to the black parade was fitting for this scene. it's iconic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shut up, leave me to die here.

“Patton, open the door!” Virgil yelled. He could hear footsteps inside, and finally Patton popped open the door, holding a mug of tea. “Virgil, what a nice surprise! Come on in.” 

_ When I was _

Virgil breathed in and out. Patton was busily cleaning up the already clean living room, and he pushed Virgil down onto the sofa, and sat with him. “What’d’ya need, kiddo?”

_ A young boy _

“Patton, I think you might be my soulmate.”

Virgil was prepared for shock, anger even, but he was not prepared for Patton to start laughing hysterically. 

“Pat...you...you good?” Patton shoved a cookie in his mouth, still cackling.

_ My father took me into the city _

“Patton, mrghsgrflurdf..” Virgil frantically chomped cookie.

_ To see a marching band…. _

Patton shook his head, wheezing. “Virgil, sweetie, I’m aroace. I’m nobody’s soulmate.” Virgil was flummoxed. “But...but you said, you SAID you liked both MCR and Disney music! That’s the only music I’ve been hearing in my head!”

Patton laughed harder. “Virgil, I can’t stand My Chemical Romance! It’s far too depressing, and Disney music gets boring after a while.”

_ He said son when you grow up, _

“Wait,” Virgil interrupted, swallowing gingery crumbs, “So what music  _ do  _ you listen to?” he asked, pushing his purplish hair out of his eyes.

“Oh, I listen to Bob Dylan, and Taylor Swift if I’m feeling jazzy.” Patton chirped. “Now have another cookie.”

_ Would you be the savior _

Virgil had about fifteen more cookies forced on him, and then he was unceremoniously booted out. Shaking his head, he started the trek back to his apartment, where Dee would be waiting.

_ Of the broken, the beaten and the damned…. _

~~~~

“PATTON!” Roman shrieked, running up the walk.

Patton was just closing his door. “Roman, hello!”

“Look, Pat, I know you’re ace, but I think you might be my---mgfgfgggggghhh.”

Patton shoved another cookie in his mouth for good measure. “I am not your soulmate. I do not like Disney music. We’ve been over this. Now go find Virgil, you absolute marshmallow.”

Roman spat out the cookie. “Why the heck would I need to find---- _ oh. OHhhhhh.” _

Roman, eyes wide as dinner plates, sprinted down the path. 

“The other way,” Patton pointed helpfully. 

_ SOMETIMES I GET THE FEELING/ SHE’S WATCHING OVER ME…... _

~~~~~

Virgil was vibing. Absolutely vibing. 

_ AND OTHER TIMES I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GO….. _

His soulmate had picked a good song to listen to, for sure. For once. Now, though, he was out of leads, a month past his birthday, and he was losing hope fast. Then a large heavy shape collided with him.

“AHHHHHH!”

“AHHHHHH!” 

_ AND THROUGH IT ALL, THE RISE AND FALL, THE BODIES IN THE STREETS, _

_ AND WHEN YOU’RE GONE, WE--- _

“....wanted you to know,” Roman’s voice trailed off. “Have you even been listening?”

“No, no, I have,” Virgil forced a laugh. “Go ahead.”

~~~~~~~

Roman took a deep breath. “Virgil, I’m like ninety-nine point nine-hundred ninety nine percent---”

Virgil was glaring again. 

“I think you’re my soulmate,” Roman said quietly. Virgil’s eyes grew huge. “On what grounds? Princey, I didn’t think you were one for jokes.”

“I am! I mean I’m not! I’m not joking!” Roman floundered, then dropped his head in shame.  _ I fucked this up big-time. _

“Oh, shut  _ up,  _ Princey. You talk too much.” Roman peeked through his hair. Virgil was smiling, and he rocked forward on his toes imperceptibly. Maybe Roman leaned forward, or Virgil did, but they were kissing on the sidewalk with the taste of gingersnaps on their lips. 

It was absolutely magical, a Disney kiss, and Virgil decided he would never insult Roman’s music taste again. 

“Get a  _ room,”  _ hollered a familiar voice. Roman broke away from Virgil, grinning sheepishly. Virgil was aware that he was smiling fit to burst. 

“Remy? And Logan? What are you doing here?” 

Remy and Logan were holding hands, with identical beaming faces. 

“We are, that is to say we came to tell you,” Logan began, adjusting his tie. Remy grabbed his hand again. “We’re soulmates!” 

“That’s very...congratulations. How’d you figure it out?” 

“Oh, I was listening to music to relax, and Logan told me what he was hearing.”

“Which was?” prompted Roman.

“Classical music, to be exact, Piano Sonata No. 11! Isn’t it  _ great,  _ babe?” squealed Remy. “Now we can listen to music together!”

Roman and Virgil winced identically. That had to be the worst music ever, but hey, it worked out.

“Gurls.” Remy reprimanded. “When were you going to tell me? I feel  _ so  _ left out.” Virgil rolled his eyes.

Roman leaned down to kiss him again. “What’re you thinking about?”

_ We’ll carry on…” _

“You didn’t tell me you liked MCR!” 

They looked at one another and started laughing. 

It was a beautiful day, and everything seemed all right with the world. Virgil supposed he would take what he could get, and right now, it seemed like anything was possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for sticking with me through this wild ride! love you guys!!!!


End file.
